HFGBC Election Day Special: If the 2010 Texas Governor's Race Was Based Solely on Hair, I Think We All Know Who Would Win

I must start by saying that I don't know jack about politics. I don't care about politics, and since they are rarely covered on E! News Daily, I am scandalously uninformed. I do think that I hate politicians, because they all seem a little shady, and not the good/sexy kind of shady like my Dad or that Wes character on Urban Cowboy either. Thus, I generally keep my head into things I understand, like a Real World/Road Rules Challenge, or Brett Michael's Rock of Love.

Then along came this governor's race. Note that I use the term "governor's race" as opposed to the correct, "gubernatorial race." I will not use the term gubernatorial, and I may cut anyone who does. Don't judge. So what got me hooked this time were the ads. Now, if I learned anything in my 7th Grade Texas History class, which I know I did because it was taught by a gym coach, it is that the governor of Texas has no power and the real power in this state is held by the lieutenant governor. This has to do with the Civil War and possibly some carpetbagging yankees or something like that. The point being that we really shouldn't even care who the governor is because he's just a figurehead. But the ads, they are just so good. You see Rick Perry, and his rugged good looks and fabulously styled wings, looking like a super hot rancher in a Carhart jacket, and I'm like, now that's a governor I can really get behind. Then along comes poor, sad Bill White. He's got a great big ole bald head, some sweet-ass dumbo ears, and I don't even know what kind of jacket he's wearing, but it doesn't look at all hot Texas rancher-y. It looks more pencil-pushing computer nerd/IT guy at your work-y. Like this dude has a chance.

I guess the good news is that (hopefully) most Texans are far more informed than me and also make decisions not based on looks. Not to say Rick Perry isn't great, because I truly have no idea what he stands for, or what Bill White stands for either. I'm just saying that if this shit came down to hair Bill White's got no chance, cause I likes my figureheads covered with glorious feathered hair that has been carefully sprayed with some Consort Men's Hairspray.

You're Welcome, Rick Perry.


  1. seriously Jill, you should right a book, host a show on E!, or at least have a commentary on the local news daily.

    Once again, I raise my hands and throw them over each shoulder and say good stuff!!

  2. I can't believe I missed this until just now! Classic. Love.