Introducing the Jill-jito (Classy Lady RIP)

So I would never completely forsake the classy lady because: a) it is delish, b) it has Coke Z, and c) it has booze (I am not providing a link to this recipe - you know how I feel about laziness). But, I feel that each summer needs a signature drink, so VOILA!!! Along comes the Jill-jito!!! Enjoy my friends.


Jill's special strawberry basil syrup - okay this isn't really my special syrup. I got the recipe from the WSJ (Remember my Dad? Those who love spreadsheets love the Journal). It was a recipe for homemade popsicles that SD demanded when he saw the picture (don't freak out, it wasn't one of those kooky pencil sketches they usually have, this was the Weekend Journal, aka the WSJ edition that is slightly more fun than colorectal surgery, unlike the weekday edition).

Here's what's in the syrup (Jill-modified)

1 lb strawberries
Juice of 1/2 a lime
2/3 cup sugar
10 basil leaves

Puree that up in the blender, and you've got some delish syrup.

Now, you pour about 2 ounces Cruzan dark rum in a Tervis tumbler (the official tumbler of the HFGBC if you didn't know)

Then, add a generous glunk of the syrup (yes, I measure in glunks, so no one can recreate my awesome recipes, right Rach?)

Then add ice

Then top it off with some handy club soda/Perrier/seltzer water

Enjoy, and you're welcome, Summer 2011.

Cause I told you once, now I told you twice, we gonna light it up like it's DYNAMITE!

Although there is absolutely no topping when my 3-year-old son told me, "mama, you smell like cocktails," I have a few additional, AWESOME, SD quotes to share. Please keep your applause to a minimum.

1) "Moms and dads should not commit an oak tree."

Context: SD and I listen to his kid bible stories CD every day as we go to/from school because I am an awesome mom and am super duper sacrificial and gave up my severe Kidd Kraddick addiction to help my son get his Jesus on. So, the CD has the ten commandments on it, and this is what SD heard. Get it? If not, you probably hate Jesus. PS - enjoy Hell, Jesus-hater.

2)"Mom, how am I supposed to light this club up without any music on?"

Context: as if this is needed...SD's current favorite song is "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz (you may recall the above-mentioned Kidd Kraddick addiction I have subjected my son to for 4 years now). Well, he's in bed the other night and calls for me. I go into his room and his is sitting up in bed with a flashing red disco light (not sure where this came from) and he asks me to turn some music on in his room. When I say no, it's too late, go to sleep, he responds as above. Genius. My kid is an f'ing genius. BTW, he refers to that song as "San Diego" as in "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, San Diego, San Diego!" Did I mention that he's a genius??


They Try to Make Me Go to Rehab, and I Said YES YES YES (please).

Okay, so anyone who knows me at all (and all 6 readers of this sweet blog do), knows that I have two main aspirations in life: 1) to go to rehab and 2) to be in a mental institution. These are actually interchangeable, as I think if I got to do one, I wouldn't need to do the other, but I reserve the right to change that sentiment afterwards, depending on the sheer awesomeness of the experience. Here's my brillz logic: rehab/time in a mental institution is like an f'ing paid vacation. Seriously, and law dawgs out there correct me if I'm wrong, but I think they can't even fire you for going to either because you are "sick" and need "help." Now, I'm not mocking the people who are actually crazy (you may recall my mother) or alcoholics/drug addicts (lucky!), I'm just thinking I could use a day or two (or month) off right about now. Now, do not put me in some kind of tough love joint either - I am not going to rehab to learn how to scrub toilets, thank you very much, and I certainly don't cotton to hiking or other "relaxing" activities like yoga either (please). My rehab needs to be something like this: lay around all day, smoking cigarettes and watching my stories, kind of like the mental institution that Winona Ryder went to in Girl, Interrupted. F'ing lucky a$$ girl, interrupted if you ask me. I wouldn't even mind being surrounded by crazies who taunted me for my beauty or sanity or other nonsense. You may recall I went to a full-on ghetto high school, so a few anorexic crazy girls don't scare me none, and guns aren't allowed in rehab, so problem solved. I would even be more than happy to go to "group" and talk about my feelings. Seriously, have I had a feeling that I DIDN'T share? Clearly not an issue. And remember that rehab movie with Sandra Bullock where they did a hilarious play to celebrate one chick getting released from rehab? Doing plays for no reason is obviously awesome and not something you can do when you are at work all day. Now I know you naysayers are out there naysaying something like, "there is no perfect rehab that you speak of, and aren't you actually describing a spa?" To that I retort, "duh, you can't take sick days to go to a spa, hello?" I might even become a confidante to one Miss Lindsay Lohan and I would advise her to live the rest of her life on the full-on opposite tip, as in do the OPPOSITE of whatever you think you should do, because your ideas obviously suck. She'd probably win an Oscar.

You're welcome, Lindsay Lohan. See you at Promises!!