Top 5 things I LOVE about my girl, Brooke

As I assume you are all waiting with baited breath for your very own top 5, I will try to churn these babies out in rapid succession.

1) All dudes LOVE Brooke. And by dudes I mean our queer-a$$ husbands.

Case in point, fade in, Diggs's pad:

Big Softee: (please read this using a sort of Snufaluffagus voice, but kinda nervous-y cuz he's talking to Brooke), "hey Brooke, you have camo shorts and I have camo shorts. We match."

Really, dude?

Fade in part deux, chez Classy:

My dad: "hey guys look - Brooke is drunk and she's eating toast!"
All other guys present: "Awwwwww. What will she think of next?"

NOT the reaction I get when I eat toast. Must be a technique issue.

2) She will not give any good chocolate to bulimics, because they will "just waste it."

3) She was the first HFGBC gurl to blow out a knee interpretive dancing. Note I said first.

4) When I invited her out on our old POS boat, The Chips Ahoy, she thought it was a fancy yacht-style P-Diddy boat and offered to bring tiny sandwiches made on King's Hawaiian Bread. Presh. Like anything my Dad would purchase would be nice enough to host tiny sandwiches.

5) She's the only other HFGBC gurl that has to go to Weight Watchers with me. Then she heckles dummies at the meetings.

Fade in, WW meeting full of fatties:

Dumb Fat Lady: "I don't know how I gained a pound. All I eat is salads."
Brooke, whispering: "Yeah right, lady. Cabana Bowls ain't salads."

Love you B to the B (S).


  1. What about Brooke's interpretation of Bon Qui Qui at Del Friscos!!! She is a movie star.

  2. Jill, Your mind is a steel trap of facts! I love it.
    Ivy, never talk of that video. I'm a mother now.