Words With Friends: avoid booze and drugs if you plan on winning that sh*t.

Okay so as most everyone who knows me knows, I have an old-ass sh*tty free phone that don't have no internets on it. Unfortch, this is actually an "upgrade" phone that my Dad let me spend a whole 20 dollars on the last time AT&T said I could upgrade. Seriously though, it was a huge improvement from what Diggs so lovingly LOVES to refer to as my "Zak Morris-style brick phone." Note I spelled Zach with just a "k" - keepin' it classy is my middle name. So back to the phone, one day recently, I woke up and all the bitches I know have rich Iphones (this means all you bitches on this blog with me). Apparently, on the Iphone, or maybe also on rich Blackberries or even Androids for all I know, you can play a Facebook game called, "Words With Friends." This is just like Scrabble, but you use your radical-ass Iphone with its magic keys and whatnot, then your friend shoots a word back at you. So, being a hardcore brillz wordsmith like I am, I assumed I would rock that sh*t up and down the coast when I borrowed a friend's Iphone and started playing. Of course, it took a full hour of Iphone tutoring to even begin to handle that thing, but afterwards I was ready to play. This game is BULLSH*T. Seriously. It's all about "strategy" and not, apparently, about making awesome (read: dirty/hilarious) words. And, to add insult to injury (I have no idea what that actually means, but have always wanted to say it), it automatically looks up every word and won't let you play a word that doesn't exist (just try "sugarsexy" and you'll know I'm right). The crazy thing about the look-up function is that it says that words like "aa" are actual words. Really? On f'ing Mars? Needless to say, I possibly got the lowest ever score in the history of the game, and I assume all the little-ass kids I see with rich phones are playing it, so that's extra bad.

Moral of the story: I hate you people with your rich Iphones and game strategies, and you can take your Words With Friends and shove it.

Now, I'll busy myself by scrolling through the contacts on my phone so it looks like I have internets.

Silver lining: my Dad says I might be able to get a phone with internets if I switch to pay-as-you-go. Seriously. Boost Mobile in the HOUSE! I saw some pretty sweet phones at 7-11, so I am pumped!