Although there is absolutely no topping when my 3-year-old son told me, "mama, you smell like cocktails," I have a few additional, AWESOME, SD quotes to share. Please keep your applause to a minimum.
1) "Moms and dads should not commit an oak tree."
Context: SD and I listen to his kid bible stories CD every day as we go to/from school because I am an awesome mom and am super duper sacrificial and gave up my severe Kidd Kraddick addiction to help my son get his Jesus on. So, the CD has the ten commandments on it, and this is what SD heard. Get it? If not, you probably hate Jesus. PS - enjoy Hell, Jesus-hater.
2)"Mom, how am I supposed to light this club up without any music on?"
Context: as if this is needed...SD's current favorite song is "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz (you may recall the above-mentioned Kidd Kraddick addiction I have subjected my son to for 4 years now). Well, he's in bed the other night and calls for me. I go into his room and his is sitting up in bed with a flashing red disco light (not sure where this came from) and he asks me to turn some music on in his room. When I say no, it's too late, go to sleep, he responds as above. Genius. My kid is an f'ing genius. BTW, he refers to that song as "San Diego" as in "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, San Diego, San Diego!" Did I mention that he's a genius??
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Showing posts with label funny things our kids say. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny things our kids say. Show all posts
5.23.2011
12.03.2010
Top Ten Sweet D Quotes of All Time
Okay, so I am not sure if David Letterman still does those top ten lists because I am in bed before he comes on because I am old and infirm. I do; however, remember laughing my a$$ off at those lists in the 80s. I even had a book with all the lists in them that I liked to read all the time to distract me from the horror that was my childhood. So, in honor of that, I present my very own top ten list of awesome sh*t Sweet D says. Keep in mind, I am his mother, so when he says, "I love you, mama," I pretty much lose my sh*t, but I am trying my best to give only the greatest hits, all objective-like.
Here goes:
10. "Wanna race? Never mind."
Context: anytime SD is riding his trike down the street and some other people (children or grown-ups) approach, he pedals really fast and screams this at them. Genius, obvi.
9. "She will look like a big ole oompa loompa if she wear flats all the time."
Context: he is quoting what I had just told my Dad after complaining about my feet hurting in heels. Loves how he quotes me all the time. Clearly, I love the sh*t I say best of all.
8. "I have two imagination friends. Their names are Flapjack and Skeleton."
Context: none. He just told me this out of the blue.
7. "This Daddy's song."
Context: upon hearing "Wichita Lineman" by Glen Campbell. Nice.
6. "Candy rains down from the sky. And who doesn't like candy??"
Context: SD said this all indignant-like when describing the homecoming parade. As in, what kind of an idiot wouldn't want to be where candy is raining down from the sky?? Duh.
5. "Hey mama, I just pooped on the porch."
Context: self-explanatory. He just decided to pull down his pants and poop on our back porch. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. And for those of you who don't know, we do have two working toilets - RICH!
4. "Oh nap! Got bump-it!"
Context: again quoting me, as we drove by Walgreens, where the day before he had heard me scream "oh snap, they got bump-its!" when I saw that Walgreens was now carrying the miracle hair accessory that was formerly only available on TV.
3. "I am thank you for my penis."
Context: on Thanksgiving, when we asked him to tell us what he is thankful for, this is what he came up with.
2. "Mama, I poop my mouf."
Context: he threw up in his bed, and having never thrown up before, he was just making his best guess as to what happened.
1. "Mama, you smell like cocktails."
Context: after hugging me on a Friday evening (aka happy hour goes all night), he said this. I have no words.
Enjoy!
Here goes:
10. "Wanna race? Never mind."
Context: anytime SD is riding his trike down the street and some other people (children or grown-ups) approach, he pedals really fast and screams this at them. Genius, obvi.
9. "She will look like a big ole oompa loompa if she wear flats all the time."
Context: he is quoting what I had just told my Dad after complaining about my feet hurting in heels. Loves how he quotes me all the time. Clearly, I love the sh*t I say best of all.
8. "I have two imagination friends. Their names are Flapjack and Skeleton."
Context: none. He just told me this out of the blue.
7. "This Daddy's song."
Context: upon hearing "Wichita Lineman" by Glen Campbell. Nice.
6. "Candy rains down from the sky. And who doesn't like candy??"
Context: SD said this all indignant-like when describing the homecoming parade. As in, what kind of an idiot wouldn't want to be where candy is raining down from the sky?? Duh.
5. "Hey mama, I just pooped on the porch."
Context: self-explanatory. He just decided to pull down his pants and poop on our back porch. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. And for those of you who don't know, we do have two working toilets - RICH!
4. "Oh nap! Got bump-it!"
Context: again quoting me, as we drove by Walgreens, where the day before he had heard me scream "oh snap, they got bump-its!" when I saw that Walgreens was now carrying the miracle hair accessory that was formerly only available on TV.
3. "I am thank you for my penis."
Context: on Thanksgiving, when we asked him to tell us what he is thankful for, this is what he came up with.
2. "Mama, I poop my mouf."
Context: he threw up in his bed, and having never thrown up before, he was just making his best guess as to what happened.
1. "Mama, you smell like cocktails."
Context: after hugging me on a Friday evening (aka happy hour goes all night), he said this. I have no words.
Enjoy!
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